I'm going to be away for a couple days and will fill you in when we return. We're headed out for a memory lane tour peppered with some new adventure.
You see, there's an ongoing debate in my head right now; a debate between the philosophies:
Bloom where you're planted.
VS
The only thing constant is change itself which has many variant translations I'm sure you're familiar with, for instance:
Nothing endures but change - Heraclitus
The Buddhist doctrine of impermanence - Annica or Anitya
I've been challenging myself for a few years to still my desire for change and movement (I've always said I have a bit of gypsy in me and I'm sometimes overcome with the desire for adventure) I've been given the hard sell on eliminating transition and I can honestly say staying put has brought with it some treasured experiences, deep connections and a house I enjoy working on...but let's face it, nothing quit changing even when we were sitting still. The trouble is, deciding whether a situation is legitimately more difficult to manage than it needs to be, or whether frustration has gotten the better of me.
Well, I could ramble, but you see the problem - two conflicting philosophies and one person who has stayed still long enough to doubt her instincts. I'm hoping a face to face with the past coupled with some new surroundings might bring it all into focus. It's easy to romanticize things when you're looking at them through the veil of distance.
This post struck a chord with me, Rosemary.
ReplyDeleteWe too are thinking of a change and maybe a move. And how to decide where and when or if, even, to do so at all.
I was caught by your last line about the veil of distance and recalled the John Rawls (I'm pretty sure it was him) idea of a veil of ignorance. His philosophy, though an ethical one, might be of service. The gist is that when we imagine what kind of world we want to live in we must do so from behind a veil of ignorance with no pre-knowledge of who we would be in the world or what our station in life. Only then could we make just decisions as to the shape of the society we wanted to build or live in.
Maybe that idea could help clarify your own thinking - Imagine a Rosemary and family just after such a change and one that did not change and remove your Rosemary-self from the role of decider: become non-corporeal and non-historical. Which one do you want to be?
Ok, maybe that's a bit much to take from two similar phrases and suggestions of the sort are always easier to administer than to fulfill!
Well, I look forward to reading more on your blog.
Oh – And I always want to call you Rosie. Whenever I imagine talking to you I can't help but hear Drewyer's voice calling you Rosie.
i am also right there with you on this one. i have traveled more in this one summer than i have in all the past 10 years of my life and find i could keep going. yet i will not sell my house for love or money, not for a very long time.
ReplyDeleteso, travel on and stay in place too. it's all a circle anyway, eh?
one other thought: I read the "bloom where you're planted" philosophy to be more about the moment you happen to be in than permanence. To me it isn't necessarily advising you to stay put, only to be patient where you are. looked at that way, it has sustained me through a lot of change and permitted me to seek out change *at the right time* and without rushing it (I've made a couple big blunders in the past ten years all the same...).
ReplyDeleteI suppose the philosophies could be applied in different ways and that I’ve been a bit ambiguous. Specifics aside, I was writing about the frustration of loosing a clear guiding voice. I’m wondering what experiences in life truly provide the best education, when the effort to provide the best is canceled out by the stresses of providing it and the different way communities are structured…see, I wasn’t going to bore you with all of that :)
ReplyDeleteAaron - Thank you, I like this idea and have played around with it some. I think the sense of responsibility for the lives of others is what keeps me from removing my “Rosemary-self” Simply put, it adds a weight and complexity to the decision…exactly why the exercise it useful.
Ahh, Drewyer! I miss that guy. I read through Derelict a while ago; very interesting after so many years.
Lisa - travel is exactly what we need! I am positive my children crave it, they inherited the adventuring gene and tell me often about the places they want to go. The problem is, living where we do education is very expensive. It is a fabulous education, but it keeps us from the other things our family longs to do together. I’m left questioning whether this configuration of elements is the right one for all concerned.
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ReplyDeleteLisa - your advise about not rushing it is wise. I've been known to be a rusher... been working on that.
Sometimes when you try to correct a behavior you go too far in the other direction.